Hey mom

When I was young, around eight or nine
I used to feel I was a very special girl
I thought I was the center of attention
The center of the whole universe
I used to dream how I would find love,
Not only in someone, but also in myself
How I would be successful and the most
Amazing girl among the rest

And soon when I turned 12 I thought I found love
You know, that very childish type
When you’re afraid to take his hand
But yet you both believe you’re a couple
And when your dreams are finally above
The Sun, above the Moon, above the rest
Of human sadness and depression. Yet
Of course that did not end well

Soon we «broke up»
It was October 21, I was 13 and something
Maybe a couple of more adult thoughts
My first big scar, my first and biggest disappointment
In people and especially in myself
You know, he bullied me, not in my face of course
But left some insecurities for me
And for my future decades, for my future men
At the age of 13 I had to deal with that, you know

And now I think that was the moment
When my biggest dream became dull
Became dusty, broken and forgotten
Because I wasn’t such a special girl
Because I wouldn’t find love for many
Years more and many more mistakes
And many scars, and burns and broken bones
Many more. And each would left a band
White stripe with drips of blood and tears
Although instead of blood I would completely
Lose my dreams.