He said “no”

He said “no”
And this word cut through me
Turned my thoughts inside out
And left them breathlessly suffocating
In my uncorked empty heart

It shook me like a bottle of Fanta
And frightened, my soul was bubbling–
Creating the enormous pressure inside

And so I burst.

Sometimes I hope a splinter cut him in half
Sometimes I hope it only left a little scratch
On his white, silver fish-like skin
But of course it couldn’t

Not because I loved him, I surely did not
But because he didn’t love even the beautiful illusion of me
Which I created FOR him

He used to say I was boring
I was, but I was also petrified by him
By what I let him do
By what I didn’t

And maybe if his sad dog-eyes did not remind me of a wolf
And if his kisses did not remind me of a soul reaper
I would make myself be his princess
Although he is not a prince, neither a knight
Not even a dragon

He is like a water droplet
In which you can see yourself for just a second
And when it cracks open on the ground
There is nothing left but a memory

Or nothing left at all

And so he did not say “yes”